Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
