ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
