we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
They are going to name an STD after you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
