i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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