it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
