2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
