you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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