You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
