He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My liver just had a heart attack.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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