last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
