Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
they need to just BURY HIM!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
