All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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