I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
