His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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