I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
