we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
