I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
