SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
