im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
