we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
is wine microwaveable?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
