He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
