I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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