id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
two words...techno handjob
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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