My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
