the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
