How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
