I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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