laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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