the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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