pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I fill condoms, not promises.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
