I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
