thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
