Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
