That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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