No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
