I am spending my child support on dildos
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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