I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
