The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
