At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize