I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
