I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
