The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
