OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
