Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
