Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
