Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
