when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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