Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
