I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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