come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
