I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
